


this (might have) never happened

by slnkingboat



Category: Rise (TV 2018)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Party, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 02:24:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14582862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slnkingboat/pseuds/slnkingboat
Summary: jeremy hosts a troupe party and does a lot of drunken flirting with simon. if only either of them remembered it the next day.





	this (might have) never happened

**Author's Note:**

> this honestly ended up being a lot longer than I expected it to, sorry. it also got a lot angstier than I originally planned. still proud of it though ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Simon Saunders did not expect this particular Monday to be any different from all the other Mondays he’s suffered through this year.  He assumed he would go to class and then to rehearsal exactly like normal. He should have known that wasn’t going to be the case.

It all started when his alarm didn’t go off.  Sadly, he woke up to the sound of his mother banging on his door.

“Simon!” she shouted.  “Honey, school starts in twenty minutes!”

He had to rush through his normal routine, causing his hair to go in all kinds of directions (and none of them being the correct one).  Instead of carefully selecting an outfit, he threw on the first button-down he could find. It was covered in wrinkles. Simon was disgusted.

He usually wasn’t one to speed, and if anyone asked he would surely deny it, but he definitely stepped on the gas pedal a little harder than normal to get to Lilette’s on time.  It didn’t matter. He was still ten minutes late.

When his best friend climbed in the car, she did a double take.  “What happened to you?” she asked.

Simon panicked and quickly checked his reflection in the rearview mirror.  He furiously tried to smooth his hair down before grumbling, “I woke up late.  It has  _ not  _ been a fun morning.”

Lilette laughed and shut the door behind her.  “I can see that. Just drive, dummy.”

So he did.  He drove carefully (but speedily) to school.  He could see out of the corner of his eye that Lilette was trying to repress laughter the whole time.  It drove him crazy not knowing what she found so funny, but he was too tired and too frustrated to ask.

However, by the time he pulled into the parking lot and Lilette was still chuckling to herself, he’d had enough.  “ _ What  _ is so funny?” he asked, stopping the car and turning to face the girl in the passenger seat.

She just put a hand over her mouth and shook her head.  “Sorry,” she said through her fingers.

Simon crossed his arms.  “I’m not letting you out of this car until you tell me what’s so funny.”

“Should’ve thought of that before you unlocked it, then.”

She opened the door and hopped out, slinging her backpack happily over one shoulder.  “See you at rehearsal, Prince Charming!” She winked at him and walked away.

Simon narrowed his eyes.   _ Why did that sound familiar? _

 

_ Simon’s mind was starting to get fuzzy.  Boy, if his parents could see him now...Robert Saunders would  _ not  _ be pleased. _

__ _ Jolene passed him another cup, and he gave her a look, trying to maintain some self-control. _

__ _ “Come on, Saunders!” she shouted at him, grabbing his shirt and drunkenly pulling herself towards his ear.  “Don’t be the lame church boy everyone says you are!” _

__ _ From what Simon could understand, not drinking would be a bad thing.  So he raised the plastic cup to his lips and took several gulps. Everyone else began to chant “Chug! Chug! Chug!”, and when he had finished the whole thing and raised his arms in celebration, they all cheered loudly. _

__ _ “Jeremy, are you sure your parents aren’t going to find out about this?” asked Lexi.  She had been the one spending the whole night worrying that they were going to get caught. _

__ _ Jeremy, who had been pretty far gone for a while, just laughed.  “They’re out for the whole weekend, okay? Chill out a little. This house is all ours.” _

__ _ He stood up and swayed a little bit.  Michael, who was sitting closest to him, giggled and held his legs in support.  Once he had steadied himself, he held his arms out and everyone fell silent. _

__ _ “Who wants to play a game?” he asked, a stupid grin on his face.  His question was met with a roar of cheering from the troupe. _

__ _ “Ooh, pick me!” said Lilette, shooting her hand up in the air.  “Let’s play truth or dare!” _

__ _ Everyone else cheered in agreement. _

__ _ Jeremy grinned even harder.  “Alllllright!” he called. “Get in a circle!” _

__ _ He then promptly stumbled over to where Simon was sitting and collapsed next to him.  The taller boy was evidently just trying to sit down, but he was drunk to the point where his descent to the ground was much less than graceful.  He fell into Simon’s side, and Simon wasn’t thinking clearly enough to push him away like he normally would have. Instead, he grabbed the other boy by the shoulders and straightened him up.  “You’re a mess,” Simon told him. _

__ _ Jeremy’s grin got even wider, which Simon didn’t think was possible.  “You love it,” he replied, leaning in close so that his arm was touching Simon’s.  Simon felt his stomach flip over at the touch. There was definitely a voice in his brain telling him to push Jeremy away, but the alcohol tuned it out, and he was grateful for that.  Being constantly defensive got pretty exhausting after a while. _

__ _ “I wanna go first!” Jolene called.  She stood up, closed her eyes, and started spinning around with her finger pointed out.  When she stopped, she was pointing at Maashous, who had been hiding in the corner. _

__ _ She opened her eyes and they widened when she saw who she had landed on.  “Maashous!” she cried, stumbling over to where he was sitting and grabbing his arm.  “Truth or dare?” _

__ _ “Uh...dare?”  Maashous hadn’t actually drank that much, and compared to the rest of them, his head was still securely on his shoulders.  He shrugged himself out of Jolene’s grasp. _

__ _ Jolene put her hands on her hips, clearly thinking as hard as her incapacitated brain would allow.  Finally, her face lit up and she started rubbing her hands together. “I dare you to let me straighten your hair!” _

__ _ He looked genuinely surprised.  “What? I - come on, Jolene, where are you going to find a hair straightener?” _ _   
_ __ _ A look of disappointment struck her face for a moment until Simon heard Jeremy gasp next to him and say “Wait!  My mom has one!” _

__ _ Jolene grinned again and disappeared down the hallway.  Sure enough, two minutes later, she reentered the room brandishing a hair straightener. _

__ _ After a lot of fussing from all the girls and several yelps of “Get away from my head!” from Maashous, the lights boy had been given his makeover.  It wasn’t the cleanest hair job Simon had ever seen, but it certainly was entertaining to see Maashous’ normally bushy hair lie so flat. Still, Simon made a mental note never to let drunk Jolene come anywhere near his head with a burning object. _

__ _ When everyone had calmed down again, Maashous frustratedly wiped his now much longer hair out of his face and scanned the room.  “Jeremy,” he said, “truth or dare?” _

__ _ Simon felt the boy tense up next to him and realized that their arms were still touching.  He didn’t move away, though. It felt kind of nice. _

__ _ “Truth,” said Jeremy. _

__ _ “Boring!” called Lilette, laughing.  Jeremy just rolled his eyes at her. _

__ _ “Ok,” said Maashous, “who’s the most attractive person in the troupe?” _

__ _ There was a collective “ooooh” from everybody in the circle.  Every pair of eyes in the room was fixed on Jeremy. Simon expected him to at least think about his answer first, but he replied instantly. _

__ _ “Oh, that’s easy,” he said, slurring over his words.  He slung an arm around Simon’s shoulders. “Simon, hands down.” _

__ _ Simon felt his face burn red.  He tried to shrug Jeremy’s arm off of him, but it was no use.  The boy had a tight grip. _

__ _ “How so?” said Lilette teasingly.  Simon glared at her, but she just winked at him.  She was eating this stuff up. _

__ _ Jeremy just sighed and turned to look at Simon.  His clear blue eyes were a little glazed over, but they were still fixed intently on Simon’s.  “You’re just so...dreamy,” he said, speaking directly to Simon. “You’ve got these gorgeous dark eyes and...and this soft hair…” (he tousled Simon’s hair with his free hand, and Simon felt his face go a shade darker) “...you’re like a real-life Disney Prince.  A real Prince Charming.” _

__ _ Simon watched several pairs of eyebrows go up.  Several of his friends were very obviously trying not to lose it.  It was clear that Jeremy was past the state of having any filter, and it sounded like his words were coming from nowhere.  But Simon knew better. _

__ _ “Tell us how you really feel, man,” Robbie said sarcastically.  Everyone else laughed. _

__ _ “You guys are so cuuute,” Gwen teased. _

__ _ Simon was one hundred percent sure his face had never been this red before.  “We’re not - this isn’t - ” His words were silenced when Jeremy just sighed again and leaned his head on Simon’s shoulder.  Poor Simon didn’t have the heart to shrug him off. Instead he held out his plastic cup in the air, and Clark, who was sitting closest, happily poured him some more beer.  He raised it to his mouth, thinking that he was going to need a lot to make it through this night. _

 

The bell rang just as Simon made it into the biology classroom.  Mr. Kranepool raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t say anything. Simon said a quick prayer of thanks that he had made it on time (his perfect attendance record was  _ not  _ about to start suffering now) and hastily sat down.  

He was so focused on how late he was that he didn’t even think to acknowledge the boy sitting next to him.  In fact, he had completely forgotten he was there until he cleared his throat rather unnecessarily. Simon turned to see Jeremy looking right at him.  He felt his stomach swoop just a little at the eye contact; sometimes he felt like Jeremy’s eyes belonged to a different world.

“What’s got you in such a hurry?” Jeremy murmured as Kranepool started droning on.

“I woke up late,” he muttered back for the second time that day.  He instinctively reached up and tried to flatten his hair as he thought about his previous conversation with Lilette.

“Don’t,” said Jeremy.

“What?”

“Your hair.  It looks good messy.”

Simon slowly lowered his hand.  “Oh. Thanks,” he mumbled awkwardly.  He turned to face forward and focused whatever energy he had into paying attention to Kranepool.

After twenty minutes of trying (and failing) to take good, coherent notes, Simon heaved a sigh of relief when their teacher closed out of the PowerPoint he was teaching from.  Kranepool fumbled with a stack of papers and starting passing out worksheets. “Work on these with a partner, please,” he said. “You have the rest of class.”

Simon didn’t need to look up to know Jeremy was waiting for him, but he did anyways.  The other boy was holding out a worksheet to him with a question in his eyes.

“Sure,” Simon sighed quietly.  “Let’s get this done.”

He pushed his desk so that it was next to Jeremy’s and tried to ignore the fact that Jeremy Travers was very much in his personal space.

Instead of discussing biology, Jeremy asked, “So, do you remember anything from Saturday night?” 

Simon startled.  The question caught him completely off-guard.  “Uh...we all hung out at your house?” To be honest, Simon had been thinking about it for a while.  He knew there had been a troupe party, and he knew there had been a lot of alcohol involved, so it really wasn’t a huge shock that his memory was drawing a blank.  Still, he had been wracking his brain trying to come up with any stupid thing he might have done, and he had come up with nothing so far. It deeply concerned him.

Jeremy snorted.  “Yeah, but do you remember anything else?”

Simon looked at him, trying to read his expression.  It was impossible. “No?”

“Oh.”

“Why, what do you remember?” Simon asked.  His panic was increasing by the second.

Jeremy shrugged and looked down at his paper.  “Not a lot. But Michael and Maashous have been teasing me about you all morning and I guess I was just hoping you would remember why.”

“About me?  That doesn’t make any sense.”

Jeremy gave him a look that said ‘really?’, but Simon pretended not to notice.  His strategy of “pretend Jeremy didn’t clearly have feelings for him” had been working out alright so far.  Why stop now?

Simon cleared his throat.  “Look, can we just get back to the worksheet?”

Jeremy didn’t say anything.  He just kept looking at Simon, almost as if he was caught in some kind of trance.

“Hello?  Please?”

Jeremy coughed and looked down at his paper.  “Uh, yeah, sure.”

 

_ Simon didn’t know a simple game of Truth or Dare could get this intense.  It had started out innocently enough, but an hour or so and several drinks later, Jeremy was somehow laying in his lap and Simon had no idea how it had happened.  People were sharing secrets left and right, and Simon had lost track of who had kissed who. _

__ _ “Maybe we should stop,” said Lexi, once again being the voice of reason.  “It’s getting kind of late.” _

__ _ Robbie leaned over to check his phone.  “It’s only midnight,” he said. “We have plenty of time.” _

__ _ “Yeah, if you’re used to doing this,” Lexi replied.  “I wanna go to bed.” _ _   
_ __ _ “Come on, let’s just do one more,” said Jolene.  “Simon, you haven’t gone yet, have you?” _

__ _ Simon saw the mischievous look in her eyes.  Jeremy’s head suddenly felt much heavier on his legs than it did before.  “Maybe Lexi’s right,” he said. “We’ve been at this for a while. Let’s just pop in a movie - ” _

__ _ “Truth or dare?” _

__ _ “I really don’t think - ” _

__ _ Jeremy reached up and started poking his face.  “Simon,” he whined. “Truth or dare?” _

__ _ Simon groaned and pushed Jeremy’s hand out of the way.  But Jeremy, who had surprisingly fast reflexes for someone that drunk, took the opportunity and grabbed his hand.  He held Simon’s left hand with both of his and pressed it to his chest. Simon blushed but didn’t move. He felt like he was getting more drunk on Jeremy’s touch than the actual alcohol. _

__ _ “Fine!” he said.  “Dare.” _

__ _ “I dare you to kiss Jeremy.”  There was no hesitation.  _

__ _ Jeremy sat up, let go of Simon’s hand, and propped himself on his arm.  “That’s easy,” he said. “We gotta do it for the play, anyways. Right, Si?” _

__ _ Simon’s stomach did a somersault at the sound of the nickname.  “Yeah, I guess,” he replied. He was too intoxicated to even think about saying no.   _

__ _ All the girls started squealing and laughing and clapping their hands together like this was some kind of show.  People were whispering, but Simon was too focused on Jeremy to notice. His brain couldn’t come up with a single comprehensible thought.  All he could see were Jeremy’s lips. _

__ _ Simon grabbed either side of his face, and pulled him in close.  He had no idea if it was Jeremy who initially kissed him or if Simon got there first, but it didn’t really matter.  Once their lips touched, Simon didn’t care about anything else anymore.  _

__ _ Jeremy wrapped his arms tightly around Simon’s neck and moved so that he was full-on sitting in Simon’s lap.  They kissed each other, and they kissed each other some more. At some point, Jeremy’s tongue found its way into Simon’s mouth, and Simon let it.  If he had been drunk before, then there was surely no hope for him now. He was glad his back was propped up against the couch behind him. Otherwise he definitely would have toppled over. _

__ _ Someone might have been shouting something, but Simon didn’t hear it.  He couldn’t see; he couldn’t hear. The only thing he could do was feel.  He felt Jeremy’s lips on his. He felt the soft fabric of Jeremy’s shirt between his fingers.  He felt the electricty running through his body like it was on fire. He felt his heart burst from the sensation of kissing this boy. _

__ _ Eventually Jeremy was forcefully pulled away from him, and Simon opened his eyes, disgruntled.  Lilette was standing over both of them, her hands on Jeremy’s arms. “We’re going to watch a movie,” she said.  Was she laughing? She might have been laughing. The sound of her laughter made Simon laugh out loud too, even though nothing was funny.  “You two can either calm down or go make out somewhere else.” _

__ _ “Let’s do that,” said Jeremy, breaking free from Lilette’s grip and leaning in close to Simon’s ear.  “Come on, Si, let’s go upstairs. I wanna kiss you again.” His arms were still wrapped tightly around Simon’s neck.  Simon found it impossible to focus on anything with Jeremy’s intoxicating mouth that close to his face. _

__ _ Still, when he looked up at Lilette’s face, something seemed to shift into focus a little bit.  The sight of his best friend reminded him that some kind of world existed beyond Jeremy’s lips. So he mustered up everything he had and shook his head.  “No, let’s watch the movie with them,” he said slowly. His voice was coming out much deeper than usual, and it scared him a little bit. _

__ _ “But whyyyyy?” Jeremy whined. _

__ _ Simon wasn’t thinking clearly enough to realize that being this close to another boy went against everything he believed in.  All he knew was that he was starting to get tired, and he didn’t want to make his friends uncomfortable. “Come on,” he said to Jeremy.  “It’ll be good.” _

__ _ Jeremy pouted for a little bit, but once someone turned out the lights and the TV started blaring music, he gave in.  He turned and positioned himself so that he was between Simon’s legs and leaned back to rest his head on Simon’s chest.  Simon felt giddy from the kiss, from the alcohol, and now from the feeling of Jeremy laying on him. He snaked his arms around Jeremy’s waist and buried his face in the other boy’s soft hair.  He didn’t know what movie was playing. Some kind of Disney film, perhaps. It didn’t matter to him, because he had his own real-life fairytale in his arms. _

 

“Mr. Mazzu, can we please rehearse the Word of Your Body Reprise today?” asked Michael, his  hand shooting into the air before Lou even had the chance to speak.

Mr. Mazzu’s brow furrowed.  “I was actually thinking we could start with Mirror Blue Night and work our way backwards through the first act.  Robbie - ”

“With all due respect, sir, I think the second act is the place to be today,” said Robbie, cutting Mr. Mazzu off.  Simon watched as Lilette stood right behind him and tried to stifle her laughter.

“I think Simon and Jeremy will be fine if we start with the first act,” said Ms. Wolfe.

“Oh, I think they  _ really  _ need to rehearse their scene now,” said Jolene.  “To let off some steam, perhaps - ”

“That’s enough!” called Mr. Mazzu.  The entire troupe, minus Simon and Jeremy, were in stitches over the situation.  Simon could not tell for the life of him what was so funny. He tried to catch Jeremy’s eye, but the other boy’s gaze was fixed on the ground, his face slowly turning pink.

“What has gotten into all of you?” asked Tracey, putting her hands on her hips.

No one answered.  Everyone tried to pull a straight face, to no avail.  

Finally, Michael said, “We just think Simon and Jeremy are really good actors - ”  He stopped mid-sentence, letting out a loud laugh.

“Come on, Mr. Mazzu, don’t you want to see some great  _ acting _ ?” asked Gwen, raising her eyebrows.  Everyone else lost it at the word ‘acting’.

“You’re  _ all  _ great actors, now get in your place for Mirror Blue Night!” cried Mr. Mazzu, who was clearly losing it.

Simon didn’t need to be told twice.  He got out of his seat and scrambled to the stage.  Everyone else, on the other hand, took their time. When Lilette walked by him, he grabbed her arm to stop her.  “What is going on?” he hissed at her.

She snorted.  “You mean you don’t remember Saturday?”

“Lilette,  _ what happened on Saturday? _ ”

She shook her head.  “Let’s just say your scene with Jeremy will have a lot of authenticity from now on.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

She just giggled and walked away from him.  Simon groaned in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair.  He tried to remember anything from Saturday, but nothing was coming to him.  He remembered showing up at Jeremy’s house, he remembered dancing with Lilette for a little bit, and then he remembered waking up in a bed of some kind on Sunday morning and driving home.  Everything in between that was a complete blur.

Simon watched Robbie climb onto the mini-stage and begin his song.  He thought and he thought and he thought, but try as he might, nothing helpful came to him.

 

_ It took Simon a full forty-five minutes to realize they were watching Tangled.  Who could blame him, though? His brain didn’t have the capacity to think about anything other than the beautiful boy in his arms.   _

__ _ Some of the troupe had fallen asleep on the couches in Jeremy’s living room.  Others were singing along loudly to every song in the movie. Simon still hadn’t moved his face from Jeremy’s hair.  He just sat there, getting high off the scent of Jeremy’s shampoo. _

__ _ When they got to the scene with the lanterns, Jeremy lifted his head a little to look at Simon. _

__ _ “Si?” _

__ _ “Hmm?” Simon murmured, moving his head back. _

__ _ “That’s you,” whispered Jeremy.  “The prince. That’s you. You’re my prince.” _

__ _ Simon grinned like an idiot.  “Jer, Flynn Rider isn’t even a prince.  Not until the very end.” _

__ _ “Is it the very end yet?” _

__ _ “No,” Simon laughed quietly. _

__ _ “Well, I don’t care,” said Jeremy, settling back against Simon’s chest.  “You’re still Prince Charming to me.” _

__ _ It was the cheesiest thing he had ever heard in his life, and Simon didn’t have the heart to tell him that Prince Charming wasn’t in this movie.  Not by a long shot. Simon thought for a second, and then leaned down to whisper in Jeremy’s ear.  _

__ _ “Do you wanna go somewhere else now?” _

__ _ Jeremy didn’t need to think about it.  “Yes,” he whispered back. _

__ _ They both stood up as quietly as they could, which to be honest, wasn’t that quiet.  They were both still very, very drunk, and it took them several times of falling on top of each other before they were leaving the room.  Their limbs were all tangled together as they went up the staircase, giggling sotly. _

__ _ Finally, they made it to the top.  Jeremy grabbed Simon’s hand and lead him into the first room on the left.  “This is my room,” he said, turning on a small lamp so that Simon could see around. _

__ _ It wasn’t a huge bedroom, and Simon liked that.  It felt very cozy. The walls were painted dark red and were littered with various video game posters.  There were dirty clothes scattered along the floor; the bed wasn’t made at all. _

__ _ “Jeremy, you’re a mess,” Simon giggled. _

__ _ “We can’t all be neat freaks like you, Saunders,” he replied.  He quickly smoothed out his comforter and sat down on his bed, patting the spot next to him.  Simon sat next to him without hesitation. Their arms touched instantly, and this time, Simon didn’t even think about pulling away. _

__ _ They didn’t say anything for a moment.  Simon felt like they didn’t really need to.  He was happy just sitting in silence with Jeremy.  The alcohol was still coursing through his body and convincing him that sitting next to this boy was exactly what he needed to be doing in that moment. _

__ _ And then somehow Jeremy’s mouth was on his again.  Simon didn’t know how it happened, but he responded eagerly.  He let Jeremy’s tongue back in and placed his hands firmly on the other boy’s waist.  Once again, everything else slipped away. He let Jeremy’s mouth work its magic. Jeremy’s lips were on Simon’s lips, and then they were trailing down Simon’s neck, and Simon felt a shiver go down his spine and shake his entire body. _

_ After an eternity of staying like that, with Jeremy’s lips exploring Simon’s face and Simon’s hands exploring Jeremy’s upper body, Jeremy pulled away.  “Simon,” he murmured. _

_ “No, come back,” Simon whined quietly, placing his hands on Jeremy’s neck and trying to pull him back in.   _

_ “Simon,” Jeremy murmured again.  “Simon, please.” _

_ Simon finally pulled back to look at him.  “What?” _

_ “What are we doing?” Jeremy asked.  “I mean, like, really. What is this?” _

_ “It’s good,” replied Simon. _

_ Jeremy shook his head.  “Are we going to remember any of this in the morning?  Are you going to care about me tomorrow?” _

_ Simon frowned.  He couldn’t think straight enough to have any conversation, let alone one about feelings.  He tried to focus on what Jeremy was saying, but it was hard. He just wanted to kiss him some more. _

_ “Yeah,” said Simon slowly.  “Of course I’m gonna care about you.”  It was a stupid question, wasn’t it? Why would he be kissing this boy so much if he didn’t care about him? _

_ “Are you sure?  You never did before tonight.” _

_ Jeremy sounded hurt.  He sounded sad, and Simon wanted to make him happy again.  He hated Jeremy’s voice sounding so sad. He decided it was one of the worst sounds in the universe. _

_ “Don’t be silly,” said Simon.  He hugged Jeremy close to him. He felt Jeremy tense up and then relax, returning the hug.  They sat there, embracing each other. The other boy felt so small in his arms. _

_ “Ok,” Jeremy whispered back. _

_ “I’m tired, Jer,” said Simon.  “Can we go to bed?” _

_ Jeremy pulled away from him.  “Yeah,” he nodded. “Let’s go to bed.” _

_ He scooted back and laid down, holding an arm out for Simon.  Simon gladly climbed under the covers with him and fell into his open arm.  He wrapped his own arm around Jeremy’s waist and snuggled up in his shoulder.  A wave of exhaustion hit him all at once, and he felt his eyelids droop shut. _

_ “Goodnight, Simon,” he heard Jeremy whisper. _

_ “Goodnight,” he mumbled back. _

 

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened at that stupid party?” snapped Simon to Lilette as they walked out to the car together.

“No,” she replied.  “Watching you struggle is much more fun.”

“Lilette, did I - did I  _ do... _ stuff?  With Jeremy?”

She just laughed.  “I don’t know, Simon, what do you consider ‘stuff’?”  She put air quotes around the word.

Simon angrily threw open his car door and chucked his backpack in the back seat.  “You know what I mean,” he muttered.

“My lips are sealed,” she said, climbing into the passenger seat.

Simon started his car and pulled out of the school parking lot.  “Fine,” he eventually said, realizing that no amount of begging would get Lilette to spill the beans.  “Whatever. But will you at least tell me why Jeremy looked so depressed?”

“Actually, I don’t know about that one,” Lilette replied.  She sounded genuine.

Simon just sighed in frustration and rolled his window down.  He cranked up the music, let his arm hang out the window, and tried to ignore the image of Jeremy’s dejected face that just kept popping up in his brain.

Even after he had dropped Lilette off and gone home, his mind was still spinning.  He wished he remembered what had happened. He wished he knew why Jeremy was acting so strange.  He wished he knew why the troupe just kept laughing and laughing and  _ laughing. _

__ Of course, he had his ideas.  Simon Saunders wasn’t stupid. He realized that the possibility of getting carried away with Jeremy under the influence of alcohol was pretty likely.  It’s not like he could totally block out the butterflies he got in his stomach every time they looked at each other. Still, maybe he was better off not remembering what happened.  Maybe he was better off just pretending like nothing ever went down.

 

_ Jeremy woke up to sunlight streaming in through his window.  The first thing he noticed was his raging headache.  _ Jesus Christ, _ he thought,  _ how much did I drink last night?

__ _ The second thing he noticed was the warm body pressed against his.  He turned his head, and to his utter shock, Simon Saunders was laying at his side, sound asleep.  Jeremy felt his heart ache a little. He didn’t think it was possible for Simon to look any more beautiful than usual, but lying there, fast asleep, he truly resembled an angel.  His dark hair was tousled over his forehead, and Jeremy itched to run his fingers through it and detangle all the knots. _

__ _ Jeremy wished more than anything that he remembered what had happened the night before, but his pounding headache made it very clear that there were no hopes for that.  Still, something truly wild had to have taken place in order for Simon to be here, in Jeremy’s arms. Jeremy had never fathomed that this day would come. _

__ _ And then he realized the panic that Simon would go into if he woke up like this.  Simon had issues whenever Jeremy so much as touched him, how was he going to feel about waking up in his bed? _

__ _ Jeremy knew he had to pretend like this never happened.  He felt a deep physical pain like never before as he carefully sat up and climbed over Simon to get out of bed.  He felt his heart shatter into pieces as he changed out of the shirt that smelled like Simon and into a clean one.  He felt an ache run through his bones as he took one last glance at the peaceful, sleeping boy before closing the door behind him and tiptoeing downstairs. _

__ _ Tears threatened to spill, but he forced himself not to cry.  He just quietly walked into the kitchen and started pulling out stuff to make breakfast for everyone.  It was the least he could do. He was a courteous host, after all. _

__ _ But once he had put the bacon in the frying pan and the bread in the toaster, he couldn’t take it anymore.  He felt the tears roll down his cheeks, one after the other.  _ Stop it,  _ he told himself.   _ This is stupid.  You can’t cry over a stupid boy.

__ _ It just hurt so much.  Knowing that he and Simon had shared something special and never finding out what that was would kill him.  He knew he was never going to be with Simon like that again. The boy was too proud, too naive to ever admit he had feelings for Jeremy.  Jeremy was just going to have to get used to pretending like nothing was wrong. _

__ _ He heard soft footsteps, and he quickly wiped his face off with the back of his hand.  He turned around, but when he saw who it was, he turned back again as fast as he could. _

__ _ “Hey,” said Simon quietly.  His voice was low and scratchy, and the very sound of it made Jeremy want to collapse.   _

__ _ “Do you...do you want breakfast?” Jeremy asked, still facing the oven.  He was afraid of what he would do if he looked Simon in the eye. _

__ _ He heard Simon shuffle his feet.  “Um, thanks, but I’m good. I think I’m actually just going to head out.  I told my parents I was staying the night at Lilette’s, and church starts in an hour, so I should really - ” _

__ _ “Got it,” said Jeremy shortly.  “See you.” _

__ _ “Bye, Jeremy.” _

__ _ He heard Simon pause, like he was going to say something else, but he never did.  He just left the kitchen as quietly as he had entered it. _

__ _ Jeremy went back to fixing breakfast.   _ This never happened, _ he told himself.  That’s what he was going to say to get himself through this.  Simon Saunders was never in his house. This never happened. _

__ _ “Jeremy!” he heard his friends call.  One by one, everyone slowly woke up and trudged into the kitchen.  He just plastered on a smile and served the very hungover troupe breakfast. _

__ _ This never happened. _

__ _ This never happened. _

 

__ _ But maybe one day it will. _

 


End file.
